Networking for Introverts: How I Learned to Stop Hating It and Start Making It Work
“Networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about building trust. ” - Shawn Dill
Let’s get one thing straight: I hate networking.
I don’t just mean I dislike it. I hate it. The small talk. The fake smiles. The awkward pauses while someone scans the room looking for someone "more important" to talk to.
I'm an introvert. I'd rather play 18 holes in solitude or dive deep into a strategy session with a handful of sharp minds than walk into a room of strangers and pretend I’m excited to pass out business cards.
But I’ve also built my career on relationships. And like it or not, networking is part of the game—especially in a service-based business. Not because it’s about who you know. But because it’s about who knows what you know—and do they like you enough to refer you.
The Networking Mindset Shift
When I first read the networking chapter in Book Yourself Solid, I realized I’d been doing it all wrong. Networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about building trust.
As the book teaches, there are three core networking principles that changed everything for me:
Give before you ask. Make connections and provide value without expecting anything in return. People remember generosity.
Follow up, don’t vanish. Most people never follow up after a networking event. That’s a gift for you—because when you do, you stand out.
Be a connector. Introduce people to each other, even if it doesn’t benefit you directly. You’ll become known as someone who makes things happen.
How to Make It Work (Even If You’re Like Me)
If you’re an introvert or just genuinely don’t like networking, here’s what’s worked for me:
Play the long game. You don’t need to go to five events a week. Go to one, make two real connections, and nurture them.
Find your format. Hate happy hours? Skip them. I prefer smaller groups, one-on-one coffees, or masterminds where real conversations happen.
Prep your intro. Know how to say who you help and how you help them in one sentence. Practice it so you don’t freeze when someone asks.
Set a goal. Before you walk into a room, decide: "I’m going to meet three people, have one meaningful conversation, and follow up tomorrow."
Leverage digital networking. Sometimes your best connections happen online. Start conversations in DMs. Leave thoughtful comments. Show up consistently.
Last Thought: Networking Isn’t the Goal
The goal is building relationships. Real ones. The kind where people think of you when they hear about someone who needs your service. The kind where referrals flow naturally, not from obligation but from genuine connection.
I still don’t love networking. But I do love building a business that matters.
And sometimes, that means shaking a few hands and making sure the right people know what you do—and that they like you enough to tell someone else.
Let’s adapt. Let’s connect. Let’s build this thing.
